


Inner Demons Don't Play By The Rules

by ReneeWritesx



Series: A Light To Call Home [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:11:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReneeWritesx/pseuds/ReneeWritesx
Summary: While Magnus is visiting friends in New York, someone from the past decides to come for Alec.-Extra moment from my story "Begin Again". Can be read on its own, but would probably make more sense if you read Begin Again first.





	1. Angels Don't Give Up On Me Today

**Author's Note:**

> Hello loves! 
> 
> So many of you have left wonderful comments on Begin Again, so here is an extra chapter for you! I plan on doing more of these - I loved writing Begin Again and I love sharing more of their moments with you. 
> 
> I'm posting this from my phone, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes/typos. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Alec was seated on the floor of his sunroom looking through one of Magnus’s sketchbooks. Magnus was gone for a few days, visiting some of his friends from New York. Alec was surprised by just how much he missed him. 

Alec looked over at Church, who was sprawled out across the couch and snoozing quietly. Ever since Magnus had moved in, Church hadn’t needed to be right at Alec’s side as much anymore. Alec’s anxiety hadn’t gone away, and some days were worse than others, but he had more good days than he did bad. 

Alec returned his attention to the sketchbook, smiling as he slowly flipped through the pages. Most contained drawings of different clothing items and while Alec was no expert in fashion, he knew Magnus was a genius. 

Other pages were filled with a series of small sketches. There were sketches of Church sleeping on the couch or running through the yard. A smile drifted across Alec’s face when he turned to a picture of himself and Church playing in the backyard, and his smile widened at a picture of him using his camera. He flipped to the next page and his breath caught in his throat. 

It was a sketch of Alec sitting on the dock, reading a book that Magnus had given him. His knees were drawn up as he leaned back against a post, and he was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. Church sat at his feet, gazing out over the water. “My love” was written beneath Alec in Magnus’s elegant handwriting. 

Alec remembered that day clearly. It had been the day after Magnus had moved in with him, and they had gotten back late the night before after the fireworks. Alec and Magnus had spent the morning in bed, Alec curled into Magnus’s side with his head resting on his chest. Every day with Magnus was another day where Alec felt more at peace. It was that morning that Alec had realized he might truly be falling in love with Magnus. 

Alec stared at the drawing for a few more moments, and then it hit him: he was without a doubt, one hundred percent in love with Magnus. He smiled widely at the realization, wanting to do nothing more than scoop Magnus in his arms and tell him over and over. Magnus was due back from New York the next day, and Alec was filled with pure excitement at the thought. 

Closing the sketchbook, he slowly stood. He set it on top of Magnus’s desk before grabbing his jacket and pulling a beanie onto his head. He picked up his cup of coffee he had left on the drawing table and stepped outside. Church remained inside, still asleep on the couch. 

The air had started to cool as the first hints of fall crept across the lake. The leaves on the oak tree in Alec’s yard were tinted with yellow edges, and even some had prematurely fallen to the ground, crunching under Alec’s shoes as he walked toward the dock. The sky was gray and covered with rain-filled clouds that seemed to stretch on forever with the lake. 

Alec smiled. It was his favorite time of year. He was nearly to the dock when he heard the sound of leaves crunching behind him. At the same moment, Church started aggressively barking from inside, and Alec could hear the sound of his body slamming against the door that led outside. Alec turned around and found himself face to face with Noah, his smile slipping off his face instantly. 

Neither spoke. Alec gripped his coffee mug handle tightly. If he held it much tighter, he was afraid he’d break it. 

“What are you doing here?” He forced himself to say, hating how weak his voice sounded. 

Noah didn’t say anything for a long moment. His hands were tucked into the pocket of his jacket, and his eyes drifted over Alec in a way that made Alec wish the ground would just swallow him up. 

“I’ve missed you,” Noah finally said, taking a step forward. 

“Don’t,” Alec whispered desperately, taking a step back. “Don’t come any closer.” 

“I just want to talk, Alec,” Noah said, an easy, arrogant smile on his face. 

Alec took another step back, his legs trembling. 

“We need to talk,” Noah pressed. 

“No,” Alec forced out. “You need to leave.” 

Noah’s expression darkened. “Shut up, Alec.” 

Alec clamped his mouth shut, a shiver running down his spine. He wanted nothing more than to run away. But the lake was behind him, and Noah stood between him and the house. He could never outrun Noah. He had learned that the hard way. 

“I’m going back to Traverse City,” Noah said, taking another step forward. Alec remained frozen in place. “And I want you to come with me.” 

It was as though Alec’s throat had closed up. Breathing was hard, and talking was impossible. He could still hear the sound of Church barking from inside. Alec shook his head, eyes never leaving Noah. 

“I know I’ve messed up,” Noah said. “I know that I majorly messed up what we had between us. But I want to fix it. Give me a chance to fix it.” 

Alec said nothing, shaking his head again.

Noah chuckled quietly, almost too quiet to hear. “I’m not asking, Alec.” 

“I’m not going with you,” Alec forced out, his voice barely above a whisper. 

And suddenly, Noah was in his space. Alec’s coffee mug fell to the ground, its contents spilling over the grass. Alec’s senses were overloaded with what had consumed his nightmares for years. Noah still wore the same overwhelming cologne, and his breath reeked of alcohol. 

Noah grabbed onto the collar of Alec’s jacket, holding him in place. Alec flinched and tried to take a step back. 

“I’ve seen you around town with that other guy and I don’t like it,” Noah practically growled. 

Alec didn't know what to do. It was as if his mind had completely frozen. His ears were ringing and his chest burned with the feeling of an oncoming panic attack. 

“Traverse City would be a perfect new start for us,” Noah continued. “We were incredible together, Alec, and we can be incredible again.” 

“We weren’t incredible,” Alec said, surprised by the sudden strength in his voice. “I was terrified of you and did whatever you told me to. And if I didn’t, you hurt me. That’s not a relationship, Noah. That’s abuse.”

Noah looked at him in surprise, not used to Alec standing up to him. Once Alec began, it was like he couldn’t stop. The words just continued to flow out of his mouth. 

“You hurt me, Noah,” Alec said, trying to control the tears that threatened to spill over. “I can’t be with someone like that. I can’t be with someone like you. I won’t. I won’t let you control me anymore. I don’t belong to you.” 

“Yes, you do,” Noah said, taking a threatening step forward, keeping his grip on Alec’s collar tight and causing Alec to stumble back a step. “You don’t get to just leave me. That’s not how this works.” 

“We’ve been separated for over a year!” Alec exclaimed. 

Noah pushed Alec, backing him up against the small shed by the dock. Alec winced as his back hit the rough surface, knowing it would leave bruises. Noah was towering over him now, anger ablaze in his eyes. Alec filled with fear, having seen the look in Noah’s eyes far too many times. It was one of the images that haunted his nightmares. 

Desperate to escape, Alec pushed against Noah’s shoulders. Noah stumbled, caught by surprise. Alec shoved himself off the shed and broke into a run. Noah caught up to him, wrapping his arms around him from behind, lifting him off his feet, and slamming him down to the ground. 

Alec grunted in pain as his body connected with the cold ground. He tried to roll away, but Noah grabbed his shoulders and forced him onto his back, pushing him down into the dirt and holding him down with his weight. He raised his free hand into the air, balling it into a fist. 

Before Alec could react, Noah’s fist connected with his face. Pain exploded across his cheek and jaw, and he tasted blood in his mouth. Noah grabbed his jacket collar again, shaking him roughly. Alec tried to push him off, but Noah had the upperhand. 

“You don’t get to decide when we’re done,” Noah snarled. “We’re done when I say we’re done. Clearly, you need to be reminded how this works.”

Alec brought his hands up to protect his face just as he heard a shout. Suddenly, Noah’s weight on top of him was gone. Alec pulled his hands away from his face and rolled onto his side to see Noah on the ground, Jace towering over him. Noah was holding his already bruising jaw, glaring up at Jace. 

“Stay down,” Jace practically growled, pointing a finger at him, before looking at Alec. “Did he hurt you?” 

Alec didn’t say anything, dragging himself into a sitting position. Jace fidgeted, clearly wanting to go to Alec’s side but not wanting to give Noah a chance to escape. Jace pulled out his phone, dialing 911. 

Alec tuned his voice out as he spoke, closing his eyes and drawing his knees to his chest, pressing his fists against his temples as he tried to calm his breathing. The next few moments passed in a blur, and Alec was vaguely aware of Jace sitting in the grass next to him as the cops arrived, handcuffing Noah and putting him in the back of the police car. 

Jace nudged their knees together gently. “They’re going to need a statement from you.” 

Alec finally pulled his hands away from his face and opened his eyes. Jace let out a low hiss and reached forward, gently grabbing Alec’s chin and looking at his split lip. Alec recognized Luke, who walked over and knelt in front of him. 

“Do you need to go to the hospital to be checked out?” 

Alec shook his head, and Jace pulled his hand away. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

Alec quickly told Luke everything. Jace remained seated at his side, keeping their knees pressed together. 

“Alright,” Luke said with a small sigh at the sight of Alec. “I’d like you to consider coming down to the station tomorrow to make a statement about what happened while you and Noah were together.” 

Alec stiffened, but nodded. 

“Get some rest, kiddo,” Luke said, offering them both a small, sad smile before he walked back to his car. 

Once they were gone, Jace stood and walked to the house, opening the door to let Church out. Church immediately bolted to Alec, who crossed his legs to let Church climb into his lap. Alec tangled his fingers in his fur as he stared out at the lake. 

Jace sat beside him again, pulling out his phone. 

“Who are you calling?” Alec asked softly. 

“Magnus.” 

Alec’s eyes widened and he looked over at Jace. “What? No - he’s in New York catching up with friends. He doesn’t need to be bothered with this.” 

“Yes he does,” Jace said sternly as he stood. “Magnus cares for you Alec, and he deserves to know about what just happened. Do you realize how upset he would be if he got back tomorrow and found out the news then? This is not bothering him, Alec. You are not a bother to him.” 

Alec didn’t say anything in response, looking away from Jace. He adjusted the beanie on the top of his head and looked back at the lake, tuning Jace out as he made the call.

-

Magnus laughed as Raphael glared at Ragnor, who had accidentally spilled his wine all over their lunch table...and Raphael’s lap. Catarina was laughing, too, but she tried to hide it as she pressed her napkin against Raphael’s ruined pants in a desperate attempt to salvage them. 

His phone suddenly went off in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see Jace’s name flashing on the screen. He frowned, worry settling in his stomach. Why would Jace be calling him? 

“Jace?” 

The table quieted, his three friends having picked up on Magnus’s worried tone. 

“Hey, Magnus,” Jace said, voice sounding rough. “I’m sorry to be calling, I know you’re catching up with friends -”

“What’s happened?” Magnus cut in. 

Jace sighed. “It’s Alec. Noah showed up today -”

Magnus inhaled sharply. “What?”

“Alec’s okay,” Jace said quickly. “I mean, okay as he can be. He’s shaken up, and he has some bruising on his face... I was walking past your house when I heard Church barking like crazy. The front door was locked so I ran around back and Noah had Alec pinned to the ground. I got him off of him and he’s been arrested. Alec says he isn’t hurt, but…”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Magnus said. 

“I’m sorry to ruin your trip -”

“Don’t apologize,” Magnus insisted. “See you soon.” 

He hung up and then signalled the waitress for the check. 

“Magnus, what’s going on?” Catarina asked. 

“Alec needs me,” Magnus said shortly. 

“What’s happened?” Ragnor asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“His abusive ex showed up at the house - “ 

“Noah?” Catarina demanded, her expression darkening. “I remember him. They were dating the summer that Rangor and I were there. They fought so much. And then I remember it was suddenly over, and Jace moved in with Alec for a while. I figured something bad had happened…”

“Yeah,” Magnus said, fidgeting impatiently as he waited for the check. 

“Magnus,” Catarina said gently. “Go. We’ve got it.” 

“Bless you, Cat,” he gasped out. “I’m so glad I got to see you all. I’ll visit again soon, I promise.” 

He stood, walking around the table to hug all of them, even Raphael, who surprisingly squeezed back tightly. And then he practically ran from the restaurant, signalling for a taxi. 

-

Several hours later, Magnus parked his car in the driveway. It was late, a little past midnight, and the lights inside the house were still on. He climbed out of the car and made his way inside to find Jace laying on the couch, watching TV. 

“Hey,” Jace said softly, sitting up. 

“How is he?” Magnus asked as he kicked off his shoes. 

“He’s...alright,” Jace said with a small, unsure shrug. “He won’t really talk to me. He’s in the sunroom.” 

Magnus nodded and made his way through the kitchen and into the sunroom. Alec was seated at his drawing table, much like the day when Magnus had first moved in, looking at one of Magnus’s sketchbooks. Magnus noticed he was paused on a particular page, one Magnus had drawn of Alec reading. 

Church wagged his tail and whined softly when he saw Magnus. Alec looked up and an expression of surprise overtook his face before a small smile ghosted his lips. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey,” Magnus replied softly, walking toward him. He reached where Alec sat, cupping his cheeks gently and connecting their lips briefly, careful of his bruised lip. When he pulled back, he kept his hands on Alec’s face, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. “Are you okay?” 

Alec closed his eyes for a moment, and when he reopened them, there was a hint of tears. “I’m fine.” 

“Don’t lie to me, Alexander,” Magnus said sternly, but gently. “Talk to me.” 

“I really am okay, Magnus,” Alec insisted despite his voice cracking slightly. “I’m just...shaken up. It was like I was in one of my nightmares.” 

“How badly are you hurt?” Magnus asked. “Be honest with me.” 

Alec gestured to his bruised cheek and lip. “This is the worst of it,” he said. “I have some bruising on my back from when he pushed me against the shed. But that’s it. This is nothing...trust me.” 

Magnus’s heart broke at the thought of it being any worse. 

“Thanks for coming so quickly,” Alec added quietly. “You didn’t have to.” 

“Yes I did,” Magnus said, pulling up an extra chair so he could sit beside Alec. He took ahold of Alec’s hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Alec turned slightly, their knees touching. “Alexander, I would do anything for you. I have never felt so...so protective of someone in my entire life. When Jace called me earlier, I nearly had a heart attack. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Even knowing you weren’t hurt too badly, the idea of you being hurt at all makes me sick to my stomach. I care about you so much Alec. I...I love you.” 

Alec stared at him for several moments, his eyes welling up with more tears. “Damnit, Bane,” he said, laughing weakly as he wiped at his eyes with his free hand. “I wanted to tell you first.” 

“Tell me what?” Magnus said, grinning. 

“I love you,” Alec said before leaning forward and capturing Magnus’s lips. 

Magnus released Alec’s hand, instead cupping his cheeks again. The kiss was soft and gentle, Magnus making sure to be careful of Alec’s lip, and every ounce of it was filled with love. 

Alec pulled back after a moment, but they kept their foreheads pressed together. 

“I love you so much, Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” Magnus breathed out, opening his eyes. 

Alec beamed at him, his smile so big it controlled his entire face. “I love you, too,” he said before connecting their lips again. 

Magnus’s hands drifted from Alec’s cheeks to wrap around Alec’s neck, his fingers tangling in Alec’s hair. They were both so engrossed in each other, they didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching. 

“Hey Alec, I think I’m going to head home - ah, my eyes!” Jace exclaimed as he walked into the room, immediately covering his face with his hands. 

Magnus laughed as they separated, Alec rolling his eyes at Jace. Jace pulled his hands away, a smile on his face. Alec stood and walked over to Jace, who hesitated briefly before pulling Alec into his arms and squeezing him tightly. 

“It’s over now,” Jace said softly, pulling back and looking at Alec intently. “He’s in jail. And he’s going to be locked away for a long time.” 

Alec nodded. Jace gave his shoulder one last squeeze, gave Magnus a quick hug, and then left. 

Magnus turned to Alec. “How about we go to bed?” 

“I don’t think I can sleep,” Alec said softly, almost too quiet for Magnus to hear. 

Magnus felt a pang of worry in his chest. He knew that Alec was upset, and rightfully so, after what had happened. But just moments ago, Alec had seemed to be his normal self. But now, he had a haunted look in his eyes. 

Magnus gently wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist, guiding him toward the living room. “That’s alright,” he said, forcing a small smile. “We can sit on the couch and watch silly romantic comedies. And if you’re feeling up to it, we can talk some more.” 

Alec smiled slightly and nodded, dropping down onto the couch. Magnus ran upstairs, quickly changing into a pair of sweatpants and one of Alec’s many black t-shirts. He returned carrying a stack of DVDs. 

Alec had burrowed himself under a blanket, and Church was laying on one side of him. Magnus put a movie in and turned to face the couch. Alec smiled and raised his arm, lifting the blanket so that Magnus could crawl in beside him. 

Magnus found himself smiling as Alec shifted, lowering himself down so that his head was resting in Magnus’s lap. Magnus gently ran his fingers through Alec’s hair, the movie already forgotten as it played in the background. 

“Luke wants me to come to the station tomorrow,” Alec said quietly. “He wants me to give a statement about when Noah and I were together.” 

Magnus had only met Clary’s stepfather a handful of times, but he had instantly liked him. He was a kind, generous soul. 

“Are you going to?” Magnus asked gently. 

“I don’t know if I can,” Alec whispered, pulling his sweatshirt sleeve over his fingers and using it to wipe at his eyes. “I’ve tried for years now to suppress those memories, to just...forget everything. I spent so long reliving them when all I wanted to do was forget. I’ve finally managed to push them down...and now I’m going to have to bring them back to the surface.” 

Magnus remained quiet for several moments, continuing to run his fingers through Alec’s hair. Church whined, nudging Alec with his nose. 

“Pushing the past away won’t make the pain of it go away, darling,” Magnus said softly. “You have to allow yourself to move on - you have to stop running from it. But only you can decide when you are ready to do that. Maybe...maybe giving Luke your statement will give you a sense of closure and finally let you move on.” 

Alec slowly sat up, looking at Magnus with tear-filled eyes. Alec blinked a few times, willing the tears to go away. Magnus reached forward, gently cupping Alec’s cheek. 

“Whenever you do decide to do this, Alexander, I will be with you. Every step of the way. You don’t have to do this alone.” 

“I love you,” Alec whispered, leaning forward and connecting their lips. 

The kiss was brief, but every second of it was filled with love. Alec pulled back just slightly, their noses touching. Magnus smiled at him and leaned up, kissing Alec’s forehead. Alec closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh. 

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him a little further into his lap. Alec laid his head on Magnus’s chest, returning his attention to the movie. 

Magnus smiled fondly when he heard Alec snoring a few moments later.


	2. We're Walking The Wire, Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: lots of FEELSSSS
> 
> :)

Alec blinked heavily, taking a moment to adjust to the sunlight filtering in through the windows. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion when he found himself staring at the walls of his living room. And then he remembered the night before, and realized that he and Magnus must have fallen asleep on the couch. 

He slowly lifted his head to find that his head had been laying in Magnus’s lap. Magnus had fallen asleep sitting up with his head tilted back against the couch. Church had squeezed himself into the small space between Alec and the back of the couch, taking up the remaining space of the couch. 

Alec was tempted to continue laying there for a little while longer, but he knew that Magnus’s neck must be killing him. Alec slowly sat up, earning an annoyed huff from Church. Church hopped down from the couch, walking over to his rarely-used dog bed and laying back down. 

“Magnus,” Alec said softly, nudging Magnus’s shoulder. 

Magnus murmured something in his sleep, but Alec couldn’t understand what he said. Alec slowly stood, gently grabbing Magnus and readjusting him so he was laying down on the couch. Alec smiled fondly as he grabbed the blanket he had been using and covered him. 

Alec turned away, making his way into the kitchen. Church hopped up and padded after him, eagerly awaiting his breakfast. Alec quickly fed him and gave him fresh water. He then paused, standing in the middle of the kitchen. 

He needed something to do. He needed something to keep his mind busy and to prevent him from thinking too much about what had happened the day before. He reached up, gingerly touching his split lip. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to push the memories away. 

Alec knew Magnus was right. He knew that he needed to talk about what had happened while he and Noah had been together. But even the thought of saying any of it out loud made Alec feel as though he was going to throw up. His stomach turned painfully and Alec forced himself to take a deep breath. 

A knock on the door snapped him from his thoughts and he hurried to answer, hoping to not wake Magnus. Magnus rolled over in his sleep, but otherwise showed no signs of waking up. Alec opened the front door slightly to see his mother. He pulled the door open further, stepping outside to stand on his front porch with her. 

Her eyes fell on his split lip and Alec noticed tears gather in her eyes. “Luke called me,” she said, appearing at a loss to say anything else. “I - I came as soon as I got off the phone with him.” 

Alec ran a hand through his hair. She stepped closer, gently grabbing his chin and looking at his bruised cheek. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” she asked softly. 

“Some bruises on my back,” Alec said, voice quiet. 

She slowly pulled her hand away. “Alec...can we talk, please?” 

Alec nodded and gestured toward the chairs on his front porch. “Magnus is asleep on the couch,” he explained. “I don’t want to wake him.” 

His mother nodded and sat in one of the chairs, setting her purse on the small table that sat in front of the couch. Alec’s front porch was one of his favorite parts of his house, second to his sunroom. The wood panels of the floor were stained a dark umber, coordinating perfectly with the gray-paneling that Alec’s cottage consisted of. 

He had several seats on the front porch - a few love seats and single chairs decorated with navy blue cushions. There was the perfect amount to accommodate everyone when they decided to invite themselves over. 

Maryse sighed, and Alec looked at her from where he sat in a chair next to hers. 

“Alec, I’m sorry,” she breathed out. “When you first came to me about what was happening with Noah...I should never have done what I did to you. I know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that I can say that can ever make it up to you. I was blinded by my ambitions, and I was so quick to let you sacrifice yourself in order for your father and I to succeed at our dreams. It was wrong of me. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for it.” 

Alec said nothing. He didn’t know what to say. Because she was right. What she had done was awful, and Alec knew he wasn’t ready to forgive her. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be ready. 

_Alec heard the sound of Noah’s car pulling out of the driveway, breathing out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He slowly sat up, wincing at the way his body ached all over. He looked down at his arms, noticing that the fingertip-shaped bruises on them were already an angry shade of purple._

_He shakily stood and made his way into the bathroom. The silence in the house felt deafening and was a sharp contrast to the yelling that had occurred the night before. Alec’s throat felt raw from pleading with Noah._

_Alec took a shower before shakily getting dressed. He couldn’t do this anymore. He needed help. Pulling on a long-sleeve shirt to cover the bruises, he quickly made his way downstairs. After searching for several minutes, he was able to find where Noah had hidden his car keys. He always did that the morning after they had a bad fight. Noah did everything he could to prevent Alec from ever leaving._

_The drive to his parent’s house was silent. He didn’t turn the music on, and he kept the windows rolled up. He fought against his memories from the night before as he rehearsed what he was going to say to his parents over and over again in his mind. He pulled into their driveway, quickly parking the car and making his way inside._

_He found his mom and dad on the back patio, sipping tea and talking quietly. His father smiled when he noticed Alec hovering in the doorway that led outside, waving him over. Alec crossed his arms over his chest and made his way toward them. His father signalled for someone to bring Alec a cup of tea._

_Alec would never understand why his parents felt as though they needed staff around the house, but Alec knew that right now was not the time to mention it. As he sat down with them, all the words he had practiced in his mind vanished and his throat went dry._

_His mother smiled at him. “I just got off the phone with Carol,” she said, sounding excited. “She’s found some venues that she wants you and Noah to check out for the ceremony. And then we were thinking that maybe we could have the reception here?”_

_Alec said nothing, looking down at the engagement ring on his finger. It felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. Carol, Noah’s mother, had taken over planning the wedding. She was crazy about it, often overwhelming Alec with questions that he didn’t even understand._

_“Alec?” his mom pressed._

_“I don’t want to marry Noah,” Alec blurted out, looking back up at them._

_His mother went perfectly still while his father furrowed his eyebrows in confusion._

_“Have you two had a fight?” his father asked, clearly trying to understand._

_Alec ran a hand through his hair. “No. It’s not that,” he forced out. “Not exactly.”_

_“Then what is it?” his mother demanded sharply._

_Alec winced under cold gaze. “Noah….he - he’s abusive,” Alec said, voice strained._

_“What do you mean?” his father asked._

_Alec clenched his teeth before rolling up his sleeves, revealing the bruises that scattered his arms. “These are from last night. He got home late from dinner with friends, and he was angry that I hadn’t gone with him.”_

_Both of his parents were silent. Before Alec could stop himself, he continued._

_“The first time he hit me was a year and a half ago,” Alec said, and he saw his father’s eyes widen. “He’s usually drunk, but not always.”_

_“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” his mother demanded, finally speaking._

_“At first, he promised to never do it again,” Alec said quietly. “He would always say something to try to excuse it, and in the end I would always forgive him. And then after that...I’ve felt trapped. When he proposed, I panicked and said yes because I was afraid of what he would do if I said no. I intended to leave him as soon as I got the chance. But then - but then you guys were so proud of me. And I never thought I would hear you say that. I thought...I thought I could handle it. I thought I could make it work. But I can’t. I can’t live like this anymore.”_

_Silence enveloped them. Alec blinked hard, trying to contain the tears that threatened to spill over. His parents shared a look before his mom leaned forward._

_“Do you think you could do it for a little longer?”_

_Alec looked at her, startled. “What?”_

_“Election day is a month away,” his mother said stiffly. “As of right now, it looks like your father has the majority. But a lot can change in a month, and we can’t risk losing the Ducates as a sponsor so close to election day. They have a lot of influence in town.”_

_Alec stared at her in shock, unable to believe this was happening. “You...you want me to stay with someone who is abusing me?”_

_“Just for a little longer -”_

_“He put me in the hospital,” Alec cut in. “Last month. I didn’t fall and break my wrist while doing a photoshoot. He did that to me.”_

_“Maryse -” his father began, but she held up a hand to silence him._

_“I know that I am asking a lot of you, Alec,” his mother said. “But think of the damage you could cause by leaving him now. You need to think about more than yourself.”_

_Alec was stunned into silence. He looked at his father to see that he appeared torn, but was clearly going to agree with Alec’s mother. In the end, he always did._

_His mother suddenly stood. “Come with me.”_

_“To where?” Alec asked, voice small._

_She held out a hand for him, offering a tight smile. “I’m going to show you how you can conceal bruises with makeup.”_

_Alec bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying. He slowly stood, but refused to accept her hand._

_“We all have to make sacrifices,” his mother said as she led the way inside. “Just remember, it’s only temporary.”_

Alec blinked hard, pulling himself from his memories. His mother hadn’t moved from the chair beside him, watching him intently. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and dropping his forehead into his hands. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and turned his head to look at her, keeping the side of his face resting on his closed fists.

“What are you doing here, Mom?” he asked softly. “What do you want from me?” 

“I want to help.” 

“You want to help,” Alec repeated, saying it like a statement rather than a question. He dragged himself up so that he was sitting up straighter. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

Something flashed in his mother’s eyes and she looked down. “Like I said, what I did to you is unforgivable. Just please, _please_ , let me try to make things better.” 

“You can’t!” Alec suddenly exclaimed, standing up. Everything that he had been holding within him for the past twenty-four hours was springing to the surface. He couldn’t contain it anymore. “You had me stay with someone who was hurting me. Jesus, Mom, you taught me how to hide the bruises with makeup. Don’t you think you’ve done enough? What do you possibly think you could do that could make any of this better?” 

His mother stood as well. “I know I’ve made mistakes, Alec! Let me try to fix them -” 

“You can’t fix what you’ve done!” Alec shouted. Then his shoulders sagged and he looked at her in defeat. “You can’t fix it,” he said, much quieter than before. 

“Let me try,” she insisted. “I _can_ help, Alec -”

“I don’t want your help!” Alec exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “I went to you for help and all you did was hurt me more! Do you even realize what that felt like? I...I don’t think I can ever trust you again.” 

His mother looked at him as if he had slapped her. 

“I get that you’re trying,” Alec said quietly. “I do. But that doesn’t change anything.” 

“Luke mentioned that you might be giving a statement about everything that happened,” she said quickly. “Let me hire you the best lawyer in town, Alec. Let me help you get Noah locked away like he deserves.” 

Alec hesitated. 

“Alec,” she said gently, but sternly. “We have to do this quickly. If we don’t, the Ducates will hire a lawyer to try to get Noah out. If it comes to a trial...I - I will testify, Alec. I will tell them of what I did, and the amount of bruises I saw on you. I know it will ruin me...my reputation, but I don’t care about that. Not anymore. I care about you, and doing what is right for you. Let me help. Please.” 

Alec remained quiet, but slowly nodded. A hesitant smile spread across her face, and she took a tentative step toward him. He crossed his arms over his stomach and looked off to the side. She took a step back. 

“Just...let me know what you need,” she said as she began walking down the porch steps toward where her car was parked. “Just let me know.” 

Alec nodded, watching as she climbed into her car and drove off. 

-

Magnus woke to the sound of voices. They sounded far off, as if they were in another room or outside. He slowly rolled over, realizing he was on the couch in the living room. He smiled faintly as he sat up, clutching the blanket Alec must have put over him. Church was seated by the front door, whining softly. 

Suddenly, Magnus heard the sound of Alec shouting. He was on his feet in an instant as Church let out a growl. Magnus walked over to the window that looked out onto the front porch, pulling the blind down slightly and peeking out. 

He saw Alec and his mother facing each other. Alec looked upset, and it took all of Magnus’s willpower to not go storming out onto the porch right then and there. He couldn’t tell what they were saying, but after a moment it appeared that Alec calmed down slightly. Magnus watched as they exchanged a few more words before Maryse slowly left. As soon as she was gone, Magnus wrapped the blanket around himself and opened the door, stepping out onto the porch. 

Church squeezed around Magnus, immediately going up to Alec and letting out a single bark. Alec let out a quiet laugh and bent down to pet Church. 

“I’m alright,” he murmured, petting Church behind the ears. 

Church wagged his tail happily. Magnus took a few steps forward. Alec stood, smiling as Magnus leant up to give him a quick kiss. 

“Good morning,” Alec murmured. 

Magnus looked at him, trying to be careful about showing how concerned he was. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Alec nodded, allowing Magnus to wrap him in his arms and guide him over to the loveseat, wrapping them both up in the blanket as they sat. They sat in a peaceful quiet for a few moments, Magnus resting his head on Alec’s shoulder. 

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked gently, breaking the silence. 

“Honestly?” Alec murmured quietly. “I’m not sure.”

Magnus picked his head up off of Alec’s shoulder to look at him, worry settling in his stomach. Alec was looking down at his hands, wringing his fingers - something that Magnus had noticed Alec always did when he was anxious. Church licked at Alec’s hands and nudged him with his nose. 

“What did your mother want?” Magnus asked. 

“To help me,” Alec said, laughing bitterly. “She said she wanted to make up for the mistakes she made in the past. And she told me that once I talk to Luke and give my statement, to let her know. She wants to hire a lawyer.” 

“Have you made a decision about giving a statement?” 

Alec sighed. “I know that I should. I know that you’re right, and that I will probably feel better once I do it. But any time I think about it, I feel like I’m going to be sick.” 

“Whatever you decide, make sure that it is what you want to do, Alexander,” Magnus said softly. “Either way, I don’t think it is going to be easy. But only you can decide. And whatever you do decide, I will be there. I know it hurts right now. And it’ll continue to hurt for a while. But you can’t heal if you don’t truly give yourself a chance to move on.” 

Alec slouched down in the couch more, turning so that he was laying on his side and getting as close to Magnus as he could. Magnus gently grabbed Alec’s legs, scooping them up and placing them in his lap. Alec rested his head on the back of the couch, gazing at Magnus. 

“Did you have fun in New York?” Alec asked quietly. 

Magnus smiled at him. “I did. It was great to see Raphael, Catarina, and Ragnor again. They were talking about coming here for a visit sometime soon.”

Alec smiled back at him. “That’s great.” 

Jace’s truck came into view as he drove down the road. He slowed down in front of their house, honking and smiling out the rolled-down window before continuing down the street. 

Magnus smiled faintly, gazing down the street. Not a day went by where he wasn’t caught off guard by the beauty of Michigan. He had thought that he would always call New York home, but now he realized he probably never could again. Sometimes he missed the fast paced environment of the city, but he would choose the calm, small town of Saugatuck over it any day. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Alec mumbled, laying his head on Magnus’s shoulder. “What are you thinking about?” 

Magnus didn’t answer, instead leaning down and pressing a kiss to Alec’s temple. Alec closed his eyes, and they spent the remainder of the morning lounging on the porch, talking quietly about small nothings. 

Magnus wouldn’t trade moments like these for anything. 

-

The next day,, Alec sat in the passenger seat of Magnus’s car, staring through the windshield at the police station. Church sat in the back, panting obnoxiously. Magnus sat in the driver seat, the car still running despite being parked. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Magnus said softly. 

Alec tore his eyes away from the building, turning to look at Magnus. “I just want to get it over with.” 

Magnus seemed to hesitate before nodding and turning the car off. He climbed out before walking around the car and pulling it open for Alec. 

Alec let him take his hand, and he gripped it tightly as they walked inside, Church on a leash. Luke was waiting for them, a small, kind smile on his face. 

“Hey, kiddo,” he greeted Alec. 

In any other situation, Alec would have rolled his eyes playfully. But at that moment, all he could manage was a stiff nod. 

“It’ll just be you and me while you give your statement,” Luke said as he began to guide them down a hallway. “We can take as many breaks as you need, okay? And if you need to stop for the day, you can always come back tomorrow. I don’t want any of this to be uncomfortable for you. But the sooner we get this done, the sooner proper charges can be filed against Noah.” 

Alec nodded as they reached a small lobby. Luke turned to Magnus. 

“Can I get you anything while you wait? Coffee?” 

“No, thank you,” Magnus said. He turned to Alec, gesturing toward a chair. “I’ll be right out here, okay?” 

Alec nodded, giving Magnus’s hand a squeeze, and then followed Luke into another room. He was expecting a questioning room, but breathed out a sigh of relief when he realized it was Luke’s office. 

“This isn’t where we would traditionally do this,” Luke said, noticing Alec’s expression. “But like I said, I don’t want any of this to be uncomfortable to you. That being said, is it okay if I record this conversation?” 

Alec’s eyes flickered to the small device Luke was holding in his hand. Alec forced himself to nod. Church laid down on the floor, resting his head on his paws. 

“Okay,” Luke said, gesturing for Alec to sit. Luke sat behind his desk and hit the record button. “For the record, I am talking with Alexander Gideon Lightwood. He is here to give his statement about abuse he suffered by the hand of Noah James Ducate, who is currently being held on domestic charges.” 

Luke paused, looking at Alec. He raised his eyebrows in question, and Alec took a deep breath and nodded. He was ready. 

-

Magnus fidgeted in his chair, doing his best to remain calm. He had brought a sketchbook with him, but the police station wasn’t exactly an inspiring place. Especially when he knew Alec was probably going through hell in one room and Noah was locked up in another. 

He tried to avoid looking at the clock, but those efforts failed. Only an hour and a half had passed, but it felt like twenty. The sound of heels against the tile floor caught his attention and he looked up to see Mrs. Ducate making her way down the hall, a determined look on her face. 

She glanced at Magnus, and her steps faltered. Magnus quickly looked away. He had only met her the one time, and he was really hoping she wouldn’t recognize him. They had only spoken very briefly at the lunch party - long enough for Magnus to learn that she was a very strong-willed woman. 

“Magnus?” 

Magnus cursed inwardly before looking back toward her. He forced himself to stand, extending his hand. “Hello, Mrs. Ducate.” 

She shook his hand and then looked around the otherwise empty lobby. “What are you doing here?” 

Magnus hesitated. “I’m...well, I’m here with Alec.” 

Realization dawned on Mrs. Ducate’s features. Magnus wasn’t sure what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t for her to sink into the chair next to the one that Magnus had been sitting in, putting her face in her hands. 

Magnus slowly sat next to her, remaining quiet. Mrs. Ducate took a deep breath and then looked at him. 

“How is Alec?” she asked softly. 

Magnus was startled by the question. “He’s been better.” 

Mrs. Ducate’s eyes were watery, and she quickly wiped at them before looking back at Magnus. “I don’t know what you think of me,” she said quietly, but still with a hint of determination in her voice, “but I’m not here to bail Noah out.” 

Magnus raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“I care for Alec very deeply,” Mrs. Ducate said sternly. “When he and Noah were together, I got to know him very well. I had no idea what was happening behind closed doors. If I had, I would have marched in there and gotten Alec out of there myself. When I found out, it broke my heart. Not just because I learned what my son was capable of, but also because of Alec. Knowing what my son had done to him, it made me feel guilty. I know that it isn’t my fault, but he’s my son and I feel responsible.”

She paused, taking a deep breath. Magnus continued to stare at her, but his expression had softened. 

“That is why when Alec decided not to press charges, my husband and I sent Noah to work in Traverse City. We didn’t want him around here anymore. We thought maybe it would do him some good. He seemed to change. That’s why we offered to let him come back. But then he goes and does this…” she broke off, wiping at her eyes again. “I really thought he had changed.”

Magnus was torn. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t imagine how she felt, knowing what her son had done. But he also didn’t know if he could completely trust her. 

Mrs. Ducate cleared her throat and sat up straighter. “I am here to talk with Noah and meet with a lawyer to discuss his options. But I am not letting him get away with this. I have bailed him out plenty of times. Enough is enough. If he chooses to fight whatever charges are pressed, I will not support him.” 

“I don’t know what to say,” Magnus said softly as she gazed at him. “But...thank you. This - it was really hard for Alec to come in today. But...I think he’s finally getting closure for everything that has happened between the two of them.” 

“Good,” Mrs. Ducate said stiffly. “I hope he does get closure. It’s the least he deserves.” 

Magnus nodded in agreement. Mrs. Ducate opened her mouth to say something else, but the door opened and Luke stepped out. Magnus was on his feet in an instant when Alec didn’t follow. 

“He’s alright, Magnus,” Luke said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. “He did great. He’s just writing a few things down for me and then he will be out.” 

Magnus breathed out a sigh of relief. 

Luke turned to look at Mrs. Ducate. “Noah will be brought to a room any minute now so you can talk with him.” 

“Thank you,” Mrs. Ducate said with a single nod. 

Luke guided her to the room next to his office, opening the door for her. She nodded in thanks, hovering in the entryway to look back at Magnus. 

“Send Alec my regards, please,” she said softly before stepping inside without waiting for him to respond. 

Luke closed the door and turned back to Magnus, raising an eyebrow. 

“She says she’s not here to bail Noah out,” Magnus said with an unsure shrug. 

Luke smiled slightly. “Mrs. Ducate wanted Alec to press charges from the very beginning. She is a very strong-willed woman, Magnus, and she believes strongly in doing what is right, no matter the consequences it may have against her. Her husband doesn’t always see things the same way, but she usually wins.” 

Magnus smiled slightly. The door to Luke’s office opened and Alec stepped out. Magnus’s breath caught in his throat as he took a step toward Alec. 

Alec looked both exhausted and like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the same time. He was wringing his fingers nervously, but otherwise seemed alright. Church remained obediently at his side, looking around curiously. 

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked softly, giving Alec’s forearm a squeeze. 

Alec let out a shaky breath. “I’m - I’ll be okay. It’s over, so I feel relief from that. I just - I just want to go home and relax.” 

Magnus smiled at him. “How about we pick up some ice cream on the way home, have a movie marathon, and eat the ice cream straight from the tub?” 

Alec smiled at him. “Sounds perfect.” 

Magnus extended his hand toward him. Alec took it without hesitation, letting Magnus begin to lead the way out. He glanced over his shoulder to see Noah being led toward the room his mother waited in. Magnus released Alec’s hand and instead wrapped his arm around Alec’s waist, throwing one last glare over his shoulder toward Noah. 

Noah glared back before he was pushed into the room, out of Magnus’s sight. Magnus released a small breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as he and Alec made their way to the car. Alec opened the back door of the car for Church to hop in and then climbed into the passenger seat. Magnus climbed in, smiled at him, and began to drive home. 

-

Alec lay on the couch in an oversized sweatshirt, wrapped in a blanket as he lay on the couch, watching whatever movie Magnus had put in. Magnus was seated beside him, dressed in sweatpants and one of Alec’s shirts. Empty tubs of ice cream lay abandoned on the coffee table. Fire crackled in the fireplace, spreading warmth throughout the living room. Church lay on Alec’s other side, burrowed beneath Alec’s blanket. 

It was the definition of peace. 

Alec turned his head to the side, looking at Magnus. Magnus had a sketchbook in his lap and was carefully working on the details of a pair of pants he was drawing. 

“You were right,” Alec said softly. 

Magnus paused in his sketching and looked over at him. “What was I right about?” 

“I think today gave me the closure I needed,” Alec said quietly. “I...I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. My chest doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.”

Magnus set his sketchbook down on the coffee table and then moved closed to Alec. Alec smiled at him, letting Magnus pull his legs into his lap so that Alec was draped over him. Alec rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder. 

“I’m proud of you,” Magnus murmured softly. “I know today couldn’t have been easy for you. But now, it’s over. Noah is going to pay for what he did to you. And he can never come near you again.” 

Alec burrowed himself more into Magnus’s side. 

“I spoke with Mrs. Ducate today,” Magnus said, and surprise filled Alec. 

Alec pulled back slightly, scrunching his eyebrows together as he looked at Magnus. “What?” 

“She came into the station today to see Noah,” Magnus said, and Alec could tell he was talking cautiously, afraid of upsetting him. “She said she was not there to bail him out. And she also said that if he decided to fight the charges being placed against him, she would not support him.” 

Alec blinked in surprise. When he and Noah had been together, he had become close with Mrs. Ducate. She wasn’t as cold as his own mother could be, and she treated him like her son. When he and Noah had broken up, he had received silence from her. Noah was the youngest of her three sons, and had always been the favorite. Alec thought she blamed Alec for what had happened. 

“I thought she hated me,” Alec blurted out. “After everything, I mean. For Noah having to leave to Traverse City.” 

Magnus shook his head. “She said that she and her husband were the ones who made him go to Traverse City once they learned you weren’t going to press charges.” 

“Oh.” 

“Sorry for bringing it up,” Magnus said, taking Alec’s hand in his. “I just felt you deserved to know.” 

“No, Magnus, thank you for telling me,” Alec said, laying his head back on Magnus’s shoulder. “I’m glad you did.” 

Alec returned his attention back to the movie. Magnus didn’t pick the sketchbook back up, instead sliding his hand around Alec’s back so that Alec was nearly in his lap. 

“I love you,” Alec said softly. 

Magnus pulled him even closer. “I love you, too.” 

And for the first time in a long time, Alec felt like things were going to be okay. There was no longer a monster lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. He was safe. He was _free_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> This is the end of this extra part to Begin Again, but I'm sure I'll write other extra parts as well :)
> 
> P.S. The title for this chapter is inspired by the song "Walking the Wire" by Imagine Dragons and I highly recommend listening to it. SO GOOD.

**Author's Note:**

> *hides* don't hurt me for hurting Alec? 
> 
> I'll probably post a part 2 to this, because I'm sure some of you have questions on what Alec decides to do! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :)


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